Seriously, Sam's Camero is a Robot?
by Edreen
Summary: Having somehow got into the same college as Sam, Sean Witwicky sets on an adventure with his twin brother, an egotistical Lamboghini and a few others, he dives into the wonderful world of: College. Yet, because of Sam's past, he finds out a few shocking secrets. Such as Sam's a closet Doctor Who fan. Who knew you can get kicked out of the well of Allsparks? Set in ROFT.
1. Prologue

**Hello future generation of the world that will die sometime in the next 100 or so years, it is nice to see all of you. **

**This idea came to me a while ago, along with my Transformers Prime: A second Chance story on WattPad. This is going to be tied to the ROTF movie, so I don't have at think of a plot line or anything! **

**In some parts, Sean may be a bit OOC, but I tried to make it even out and he will make the movie a bit more light hearted with his rambling. I can't decide on the ending at the moment, because there are two ways this will go, but I'll figure it out. **

**I, solumly swear on my unborn child, that I, Edreen, do not own transformers in anyway, shape or form, nor will I tempt to buy the franchise, I am not rich. I only own my Orginal Character, Sean Alexander Witwicky. **

**With that said, please enjoy this prologue. **

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I drove my white Lamboghini towards my parents house. It was time to see my twin brother who I haven't seen since I was eight and my parents. Sam and I should look somewhat the same, we are twins after all. I also heard that we were BOTH going to college! The first Witwickys ever! Now that you think about it, its kinda sad.

Sorry, you probaly have no CLUE at all who I am. I'm Sean Witwicky, nice to meet you. Pronounced Se-en. What, were you thinking I was a girl or something? Sheesh, twins boys aren't THAT hard to come by are they? Though sometimes I wish I was a sexy girl to bug Sam, that'd be kinda funny. Heck, it would be hillarious! If you are wondering why I don't live with Sam, my dad and Mom, its because they knew that after eight years they could not take care of two growing boys because of their paychecks so I volonteered to go to Aunt Jasmine's place, who had said she'd love to take care of one of us, in Ontario, Canada.

Her place was great, it was bigger than Dad's times two, but it was lonesome. She showered me with almost everything and in return, I did everything she asked. Win-win. Now I think that Navada is smokin' hot, like, if you don't wear SPF 8000 sunscreen you'll get burned. But i can rub in Sam's face that i FELT snow and licked a icicle. Don't recommend the last one by the way.

Also with my Lambo, Dad said, during a webcam session, that if I get three A's and pay at leat 2000, I could get a car around the same time as Sam, who i was very mad at trying to sell our grandfather's stuff on Ebay that his family had passed down. So, saved up my 2000 in about a month from my job as a grease monkey and i got those three A's easy. Dad would be proud of my grades. Also, I was hoping to get a new paint job for my baby boy, maybe blue...

A week later, me and Aunt Jasmine went to the car dealership and we got my Lambo. Its white with yellow and orange flames by the front wheels. Not really Canada-weather worthy during the winter, but it's better than nothing, because i don't really like trucks. Or flirty girls who always bug me, hate those. I mean, they are like girls who are in dire need of a boyfriend at ALL times, and will dump you on a dime then come back! Seriously, they are like the guy version of players!

Anyways, now i was driving back to Navada, passed the border crossing with ease and was ging to see my darling little brother! Did i mention that i'm older? No, well I am. By ten minutes, a new record if you ask me!

And you didn't so ignore the whole fansco then. My bad.

Ok, now you have all my history, well, most of it anyways, so now you want to know what i look like? Man you guys are slave drivers. But i'll tell you because i'm kind. Sometimes.

I'm the same age as Sam, and have really light golden colored hair and bright brown eyes. I think i have the same lanky build as him, as Mom said that i looked like a blond verison of him, only not completely blond. My darker hair is just coming in, so my hair looks really weird. Unlike Sam, as i have been told, i work out and do good in gym. But i have asthma, so i think he's lucky. I'm also about an inch taller than him i think, unless he's grown.

There you have it, my general stuff about moi! And look, there is their house!

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Posted August 10, 2014


	2. I'm an Adult in Canada!

**Hey guys, so, this is the first chapter of Seriously, Sam's Camero is a robot? **

**I, Edreen, solomly swear on my mother's grave, that I don't own Transformer in any way, shape or form. That belongs to Hasbro and Micheal Bay, I don't want to get used or even try to get the Franchise. I only own Sean Alexander Witwicky. **

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I parked my Lambo infront of their house, making both my parents stare at my car with confusion. I opened my door and they watched me with a hawk's eye. I closed my door and turned towards them.

"Mom! Dad, like my ride?" I asked, leaning on the hood, my arms crossed. Mom started to cry once more, dropped all her stuff and ran towards me. Dad was just looking at my car with wonder and disgust for some reason.

"Oh my baby! I am soo sorry for sending you away! And now i won't ever see you again!" Mom hugged/ glomped me with Sam's baby booties around her neck. I hugged her back awkardly as she soaked my shirt with her tears. "My babies are all grown up." she whined.

"Hey mom, can i go say hi to Sam and Dad?" I weased, "You're cutting off my Oxygen supply!" She let go of my and kissed my forehead and leaved me be, now looking over my car with interest.

I stood infront of Dad, "Hi dad." I smiled at him and he quickly took me into his arms too, surpsing me because he was never the touchy type. Neither was I, so that works too. He let go of me after a bit and he shook hands.

"See you still got that necklace." He commented as he looked at my neck were the blue stone hung in a glass case.

"Well, yeah. I'm not like Sam trying to sell Granddad's stuff." I told him as he sidestepped to let me pass. I went into the backyard, completely ignoring the path.

"The path Sean!" He called to me.

"I'm an adult in Canada, i can do what I want!" I told him, yelling back as i eyed the garage that wasn't there before. A lot can change in ten some years, so that was my first stop, snooping. So i walked to the garage and opened the door and saw something i never knew they even had.

A freaking chevy Camaro! "Holy shit! You should be flaunted, not in a shed made for tools! How can they do this to you!" I stared in wonder at the sportscar. "I think your Sam's because Dad would never have this fancy of a car. Now i wonder how the hell he got you." I murmered as i looked at the car. I looked for teh keys a whined when i couldn't find them.

I patted the hood, "Sorry bud, but i can't get you onto the, the... whatever the hell the front pavement thing is. Oh, Driveway! Thats what it's called," I walked away, but smirked at the car, "I'll take you for a test drive when i get those keys from Sam." I told him, because that thing was too beautiful to be a girl! Wow, i am sexist, but it looked more like a guy ok!

I headed to Sam's room, as he was talking on the phone. I opened the door with a bang. "Sammy! Oh how good it is to hear from you again!" I said dramticaly, arms spread wide. Sam did a girly squeak and he almost dropped the phone. He told the person to call him back and the person on the other end said something like 'see you in'.

"Sean!" Sam scowled at me, but a smile was on his face. I moved towards him and used my hand on the top of my head to determine our heights.

"Still taller." I told him with a smile as we bro-hugged."And you should FLAUNT that camero, not keep it in a dusty shed. Oh, where are the keys?" I asked him, tilting my head with the puppy eyes that always worked on Aunt Jasmine.

"You aren't driving my car, got that?" Sam told me sternly and I laughed and plopped down on his bed. "Anyways, i heard you are going to college," He trailed off, waiting for me to say what i went to.

"Princeton." I told him and he stared at me with wide eyes.

"What! No freaking way, i'm going to Princeton." Sam told me as he got an old sweater from his closet. It dropped something and I bent over to pick it up. I grabbed the stone and held it to my eye. It had some weird symbols on it.

"Don't touch that!" Sam reached out to grab it, making contact with it as it became red-hot and symbols of weird word-like things were etched into my head. We both dropped it at the same time and it started to burn though the floor.

I rasied my hands by my head, "I'm going to go for a drive, see you soon." I told my brother and raced down the stairs as he fought to put out the fire starting in his room. I ran to my car and shut the door before starting it up and racing away.

"Crap," I muttered from where i parked my car, thinking that what happened was weird as hell. I was at the lake, it was a wonder that i knew where it still was. I got out of my car and saw a group of jocks chatting it up. They stopped when they saw me come out of my car.

"Hey Wetwiky, trade in your Camero?" The middle guy called as he leaned on his Jeep-like thing. I looked towards them with confusion.

"Its Wit-Wick-key." I told him and they started to walked towards me, the guy who had messed-up my name in front and his lankys behind him. I climbed on my car's hood and watched them with mild interest. Mom had always said that people picked on him. Sam, that is, not me.

"Don't care dewb. Why'd ya dye your hair and stayed inside for a month? Where's your tan?" The guy asked all those questions and i rolled my eyes at him.

"Well, someone i don't know, My hair has always been like this, and i lived in Canada for about ten years, answer your question?" I looked in his eyes and the guy looked at me like i grew another head.

"Sean Witwicky." I told him, holding out my hand with a buzzer in it. Maybe he'll be an idiot and fall for it.

"Never heard of ya." The guy told me, not taking my hand. I put it back towards my body.

"Never heard of ya either bud. Usally when someone introduces themselves, you do that same." I told him as if talking to a kindergaterner. He didn't really like that and started to roll up his sleeves. "Oooh, we doing a stand off?! No one in Canada really lets me do a stand off anymore!" I jumped off my car to get ready for him. I grabbed his hand and flung him over my shoulder and onto the ground. I jumped with joy, but they all scurried away as they saw my face of glee. It was also funny how they didn't press anything, after all, that was my only defensive move! My BFF in Canada's favorite quote was, 'When you do anything that looks scary, such as a fight, laugh with micaical laughter, it scares them'. I guess she was right.

I whined, but laughed since they thought i was a crazed maniac. Wait, i think i just dropped that man-boy Trent DeMarco. Wow, he sure changed, but he still looks like a girl. A girl with really big byseps. Like that movie, Grownups 2! That was hillarious! Wait, i messed up, i think i'm the only one who thinks he looks like a girl.

I hopped into the cab of my car and drove back to my, their house. But when i got there, it looked like someone had decided to blow up everthing.

"Guys, what the hell happened?" I asked as i got out of my car, staring at what used to be Sam's room, now blown sky-high. Police were all over the place, same with firefighters. "Sam?" I saw that the garage now had a huge tarp. There was also a girl changing into a white dress, but when she saw me she had to do a double take. I waved with a smile and walked over to the shed.

Sam got out of the shed to see the girl in holding a really pretty bundle of flowers. Sam brightened considerably. "So, Sammy, what were you doing in the shed?" I asked as I stood by him. The girl glared at me as i rested my arm on his shoulder.

"Oh, sorry, I'm Sean, Sam's older brother." I held out my hand for her to shake.

"I'm Mikeala, Sam's Girlfriend." She said and i whistled. Mainly because Sammy had to get a hottie, she's most likely a cheer leader.

"Never knew you had it in yah, Now where are the keys to your Camero because i want to test it out!" I commanded Sam as i slapped him on the back. Sam grumbled and gave me the keys, I wished him luck and went into the shed. The Camero was standing there in all it's glory, but looking really drepressed.

"Me and you are going for a ride, you need to stretch your wheels." I told the car as i opened the drivers door and got in. I put the key to the ignition and opened the door to teh shed, seeing it almost too small for the car to even FIT through. As i drove, i noticed that teh Camero seemed to be feeling a little better.

"Wow, Aunt Jasmine was right when she said that even cars have feelings. Wonder what Sam did." I spoke to myself as i brought back Sam's car. They were waiting for me, with Sam in his parents car.

"Oi, Sammy, why aren't you bringing your Camero?" I called to him and he arched an eyebrow.

He replied, "Freshmen can't have cars." I laughed and got into my car.

"PLease, since when does that ever apply to anyone?" I asked as the family drove infront of me. "Exspecially me," I told them as they passed. Sam stuck his toungue out at me and i reved teh engine to make him squeak.

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Posted August 11, 2014


	3. Alice in Wonderland

** I think that I'm somewhat pleased with this chapter. If it was a pile of horse shit, but I hope I'm just degrading myself. **

**I am not a positive person to myself. But I try to use that to make me better!**

**Edreen does not own ANYTHING, aka, THIS IS ONLY FANFICTION, IF YOU THINK THIS IS REAL, THEN READ THE WEBSITE NAME AGAIN! People will not buy transformers' franchise. Unless you are crazy rich, then be my guest. I only own Sean Alexander Witwicky.**

**Enjoy my good chaps!**

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"Oh my gosh!" Mom got out of the rental with Sam and Dad while I, myself, got out of my car, that I brought to flaunt. What can I say, dad 'bought' it, so why not show it. And I think I'm getting some stares, oh well. "Look at this place, I feel smarter already! Oh Ron can you smell it?"

"Yeah, smells like 40,000 a year. Times two." Dad grumbled and Mom smacked him. Go mom!

"Dad, Aunt Jassy is paying my tution and about half of Sam's, so no probs." I told Dad with a pat on the back before going to my car and grabbing a box.

"Hey, hey!" Dad interrupted both me and Sam, "You guys just go to your dorms, we'll all bring them up later." Dad shooed us, but not before I put the trunk down so no one would steal anything. Sam had a box in his hands and we walked towards the woman who would tell us our dorms.

"Hey," I greeted and she looked up from her clipboard. "Can you tell us our dorms, Sean and Sameul Witwicky." She flipped all the way to the back, seems its sorted by last name, and looked for our names.

The lady let out a breath, "Ahh, Sean and Sameul, the twins. Well, your dorms are across the hall from each other, numbers are," She then proceded to give us our numbers and a leture on some rules. I rolled my eyes and thanked her, then pulled Sam towards our dorm. When we got there, i left Sam to this tech-dude with long hair and opened my dorm room that was on the other side of the hall.

Maybe Sam and i could talk in our doors beside each other, but i think he's got out of that childishness.

When i opened the door, there was a boy in there already, reading a book. He looked slightly nerdy, but at the same time a gamer, not that he was heavy or anything. He had dark brown hair, about the same shade as Sam's girlfriend and by the looks of it, short. He looked up from his book and i saw he had green eyes.

"Hello," He greeted, closing the book and standing. I stood by the empty bed and looked at all the Lego, small pieces, but lego. There was also lots of Star Wars posters and even a Death Star wall sticker on the wall. "If the nerd bothers you i can always take it down," He quickly said as he caught me staring.

"No, no. Though i'm more into Lord of the Rings, this is pretty cool." I set him off of taking down the stuff, "I'm Sean, Sean Witwicky." I held out my hand.

He took it in his grasp, "Matthew Laroo." Then, someone grabbed teh back of my shirt.

"Come one Sean, Leo's showing us something." Sam told me and i whined, but followed him. I gave Matthew a two fingered slaute before leaving. Oh i sure hope he doesn't steal my phone. Leo showed us a computer lab with some of his friends.

"-Real effing deal dot com, i'm sure you heard of it." Leo, putting down some kitten posters.

"No." "Yes!" Sam and i said at the same time, me saying Yes of course, with wide eyes. Leo looked at me with wide eyes. "I've downloaded every single file on my computer!" Now it was Leo's turn to look surpised and pissed. Pissed, i have no idea why.

"There isn't a download button." Leo tells me with a stink eye and i stare at him with a sheepish smile after a blank face.

"Leo, we got some new Shanghai Vid." One of the lankeys told Leo.

"FTJ man, FTJ! Post it baby!" Leo commanded as I looked over the shoulder of the guy posting it. It was a video of some robot like-thing shooting at another robot.

"What are they? Japanese?" I asked myself as i stared at the footage.

"No, They aren't." The black dude told me, as i was over his shoulder. Suddenly, they all whined as it seemed to be uploaded on another site. I rolled my eyes, but suddenly the dude leaned towards my ear, "Their aliens. Wouldn't you know that if you saw them?"

"I don't think it's real." Sam suddenly said and i snapped my head and glared at him. He seemed uneased. "Theres photoshop and animation around so who knows?"

"Well, if it was animated then they did a bloody good job." I growled at him with a smile. Hey, my friend was British, i caught on. *Whispers* racist bastards. No, not you... my friend from Russia! Yeah, that is who the... yeah i'll stop. Auntie always said that i should try and fix my thoughts.

So within the next ten minutes, we both had jobs at the Real-effing-deal-dot-com. It was really funny when i tried to explain that i was a mechanic really. It was back and forth, back and forth, back and forth with no end! By the end of it, it was Me: 2,354 and Leo: 0. SO i didn;t have to do the joob, but still hanged out with them. And yes, it was suppose to be joob because its funner to say! Try it! Kinda like IPood.

Ok, so anyway, Leo and his gang pulled me and my brother into a party when all i wanted was to talk to Matthew for a bit. I even heard that Sam had a online chat with Mikeala, so i told him to text her. Pretty sure he didn't do it because i stole his phone and texted her myself, trying to act like Sam. It worked so hopefully she isn't pissed. She'll still be pissed if anything.

This happened after Mom decided to get high on brownies with weed in them, so us guys had to play football with her. Ain't fun because then i decided to try the brownies and spat them out in Sam's face, leaving a very uninpressed brother.

Leo told me to get dressed in my most club-like clothes and i HAD to ask if he wanted me to dress like a girl. He gave me the WTF face and i had to laugh before changing into a a black dress shirt with white pants. I finished putting on my bright yellow tie (AKA, letting it be tied loosly around my neck) when Leo dragged me from the room as i asked Matthew how i looked. He was staying and studing, something i wanted to do.

Doesn't look like thats going to happen.

So now i'm standing by the cake table, looking in disgust at all the drunks. Thats when i felt a hand on my arm and i looked and saw this girl feeling up my arm. "Hey handsome." She cooed, moving her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear and looking up at me.

I looked at her for a bit as she gazed at me with hungry eyes. "Hi, you look hungry, theres cake over there." I pointed.

"I can think of something sweeter," She growled sudectivly and moved a finger along my arm, casting a glance down.

I raised an eyebrow aat her, "Seriously? What sweeter than cake?" way number 1 of How-To-Detour-A-Flirty-Girl-That-Wants-To-Get-Into-Your-Pants, given to you by yours truly, Sean Witwicky. Number 1: Act really dense and innocent.

The girl growled once more before i looked forwards and saw Sam looking at me. Then somehow i was pushed back into a chair and hit the wall as she straddled me. "Come on Sam~" She cooed in my ear. Thats when i pushed her off of me. Number 2: use force and if push comes to shove: Number 3: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE IDIOT!

"I'm not Sam lady." I told her as i got up and dusted myself off. I noticed that she weighed more than she looked, like over a hundred pounds. I ignored the stares and went my way over to Sam and elaning on the wall next to him.

"So, Alice bothering you?" Sam asked as he took a sip of his drink.

"Yep." I nodded beside him. Many people stared at us before deciding it was a trick of their spicked drinks. Hehe, drunks.

"WHO PARKED THEIR CAMERO IN THE LAWN!" A male voice yelled and Sam stiffened before running out, me hot on his heels. There, in all it's glory was Sam's camero. Sam walked up to it with his hands in his hair muttering something to the car, who played something out of it's radio.

"Freshmen!" A man by the steps called.

"Yeah?"

"That your car in our bushes?" I had to laugh before glaring at them.

"My car would never, too worked up about it's paint job." I told them with a glare, "this is my bro's car, jelly?" Yeah, they were obviously jelly. I mean, this car is amazing and perfect in almost every way!

"How 'bout I shove my shoe up your ass?" One of them threatened.

Instead of me, Sam retorted, "yeah, what size shoe?" The senior started to grab his shoe and Sam went into the car to drive. I saw the Alice come closer, so I darted to the passanger seat and jumped in, securing myself in. I closed the door gently but fast.

"Sean?" Sam asked with a rasied eyebrow as he drove out of the bushes.

"Go go go! The evil Alice in wonderland is coming and she tried to molest me!" I commanded him and he stepped on the gass and drove, making a few people jump out of the way, "preferably if you DONT RUN OVER PEOPLE!" I yelled at him.

Sam raised an eyebrow, "did you drink anything?" he asked as he drove.

"Yeah... One cup I swear! Before bitchy-face decided to try and hit on me. She is EVIL. EEVIILL." I stressed before slumping the seat. "She doesn't even weight eighty pounds! Plus she mistaken ME for YOU! Oh, I texted Mikeala saying you missed your Webchat. She'll still be pissed, k?" I told him as he drove. Suddenly, the seat lurched forward and I smacked my head on the dashboard.

"Oh my god! Are you ok?" Sam asked as he kicked the car.

"Yeah, no prob. My car does this all the time." I held my nose, making sure it wasn't broken or anything. Seriously, my lambo decides to do this sometimes. Then some yellow liquid sprayed in my face and I cursed( something that I do not do often. Only when drunk). Sam fretted over me as he grabbed a napkin. Ok, that never happens with my Lambo.

"You know what? At first, your car seemed pretty cool, now I think I'm going to sleep off the boose in the back. Wake me up if there's a giant thirty foot robot that wants you to be in a war. Say yes or I'll kick your ass to the moon, got that?" I growled as I climbed Into the back. I stayed on the floor as a precaution. I slept soundly.

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Posted August 15, 2014


	4. Kitten calender, Kitten calender

**Sup? Decided i should post this chapter. I hated how it ended, but then all the action would be in the fourth segment, and in my books, thats a no go.**

**Because of higher demand! I must regret to inform you that this is only Fanfiction and that I only own Sean Alexander Witwicky. **

**Have a jolly good day chaps!**

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So, I know in the last page of my journal (I know, wierd way to keep a journal, but its greater this way right?) I said I slept soundly, yeah well, I guess 'Sleep' isn't in that car's definition so I kicked myself out and walked back to the dorm, felling icky and drunk and a hangover coming in. Time to drink a litre of water. Why? The booze removes water from your system, so I drink water to avoid a hangover the next day. I read it on the internet once! Or TV, but I heard it somewhere! It works!

I ignored the stares of people still awake as I walked to my room. Matthew was still studying, lucky him. So he jumped about a foot in the hair when I came back and slammed the door.

"I guess your night went horribly." Matthew stated as he closed his book as I undressed out of my sticky clothes.

"Understatement of the year, fellow nerd." I grumbled as I grabbed a few things I needed for the shower I was going to take to wash whatever it was out of my hair. And face. And anything else. Then tomorrow I'm going to drive down to the Landro mat to clean my clothes.

"When you get back from the shower, tell me. It'll help." Matthew suggested and I grunted to say I will. I walked to the showers, praying to God that it was still open. It was my luck that it was, so I showered and brushed my teeth, having brought everything. I rubbed my hair dry with one of my towels as I stepped out of the showers with some soccer shorts on. I walked back to the room, almost seeing double from sleep deprivion. Matthew was still up and reading once again.

Matthew placed the cook back down and smirked, "so, tell me what happened." He insisted.

"Well, I might swear during this because they spiked the drinks, FYI. So anyways, I was hanging by the cake table and this evil bitch by the name of Alice in wonderland decided to hit on me because she thought I was Sam, my twin bro. I pushed her off then Sam's Camero he supposivly left at hime was driven by someone here and parked in the bushes and the guy driving just left him there! So Sam was driving somewhere and the Camero decided to malfuctioning and hit my nose with the dash then piss on me with the sticky yellow liquid. I tried to sleep in the back on the floor and it decides to bring Sam's chair back over my head so I kicked myself out of the car and walked all the way back here. Now if you exuse me, I need sleep so I can get coffee before it runs out." I snapped at him, wincing at the end, but Matthew didn't seem to care as he turned out the light when I snuggled into the warmth of my covers. Before throwing them off because I was used to sleeping in 10*C at home with Air conditioning.

I fell into an easy sleep with no interruptions this time.

Good GOD why did I want to take this course? I was listening to the teacher drone about what we were learning this term. Sam was sitting next to me, almost spazzing out like I was, but I was doing cool tricks with my pencil, making a few people watch me instead of . When I felt I couldn't take no more, I raised my hand for both me and Sam, who was trying, and failing to restrain himself.

"Yes?" He asked, wondering what I wanted and my name.

"Sean. Anyways, sorry for interrupting your wonderful introduction, but me and my brother areabouttospazzoutandhaveamentalbreakdown,soifwecouldbeexcusedthat'dbewonderful." The teacher looked at us before pointing to the door, allowing us to go after seeing us and me talking as fast as a bullet without taking a breath. Wow, a kid with Asthma has some lungs! Go team! We gathered up our stuff quickly and rushed as fast as we could out the door, me thanking him a lot. Somewhere there was a Timmies gift card and a Earls gift card too.

He finally snapped and we went to Sam's room as Sam blabbered on the phone with Mikeala. I honestly tried to stay within my sanity, but snapping at people and growling like a dog when they came too near. Sam got some paint and we just started painting on the wall with these weird symbols, blabbering nonsense in a complete nonsense, most likely Chinese.

Then Leo and Evil Alice in Wonderland had to bust in on our parade. "Hey! Have you ever had a song stuck in your head? It's like the worst song ever but you can't help whistle it or sing it 'cause it, likes, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself? Kitten calendar, Kitten calendar, Kitten calendar, Kitten calendar, Kitten calendar, Kitten calendar..." He was saying this and I was giggling like a mad school girl with green paint on my fingers that I used to write the messages on the walls.

"Dude, what the eff?" Leo asked, his facing saying exactly what he said only seconds before.

I could barely contain my laughs as I tried to calm them, "don't freak out, your freaking out. Don't freak out, don't freak out. Easy Fix. Puzzle code in our head, now it's on the walls. Everything's good. This is the part that - ssh ssh. What were you saying?"

"Alice, I am truly sorry you had to see this." Leo appologise before Evil decided to push him out, commanding him to get out of the room. "Wait, wait! Can- can I just sit and watch? I'll eat my pizza quietly!" He was pushed out of the room as I laughed for no apparent reason at all. Alice closed the door and rounded on Sam, pushing him on the bed before turning over and grabbing my tie, a pretty sky blue one I might add, and pulling me ontop of her, sandwiching her between us.

"I knew there was something special about you two." She purred as she squished Sam onto the bed, her heels digging into his hands so he couldn't move. I was still laughing as Sam said a really, not that I was really paying any attention at all. If I was a computer, I would've crashed already. "And I know you know what happens when tw-three people get in the know together. They are genuinely amazing...

"...In bed" that set off warning lights if the kiss right after didn't. I completely froze, my brain blanking out. I fainty heard Sam saying a few things to try and detor her from him, as she was obivously doing something, but I didn't know what. Suddenly, Alice growled at me, probaly for not participating, so she pulled away for a breath before smushing our lips together once more, her tongue now in my mouth.

She tasted like oil. "Sam?! Sean?!" Mikeala's voice snapped me out of my trance and Alice from her asault on my mouth. I am soo calling sexual harassment on her.

Alice purred in my ear once more, "is that your girlfriend?" She asked and I pushed her ontop of me, away from Sam so he could get to his girlfriend, but we landed heavily on the floor. Alice jerked in surpise, but I quickly used that to my advantage by pushing her off the next second. She definatly weighed more than eighty pounds. I dusted myself off and felt something sneak it's way around my neck and started to choke me.

"Sean! Mikeala!" Sam cried as he too was choked by a robotic tongue. Great, I get the ass. Shit, I'm panicking. I started to get black around my vision when Mikeala threw the huge metal box she was holding at the robotic- lady.

"Run for the hills!" I screamed and ran out, smacking into Leo.

"Sean, wha-" Leo started before I grabbed his hand and pulled him along with us as we feld to the library. Growls from the freak-of-nature and screams from the college dorms sounded as she-it followed us. Sam, Mikeala and Leo were having a conversation as we ran, mainly just 'keep running'. Though my life was on the line, my thoughts were completely blank. Like I could get shot through the heart and keep going until the job is done.

We all hid under some tables. "Oh my god, oh my god, I had sex with her in my drea-"

"No one wants to know your wet dreams Leo!" I growled at him under my breath.

"I could tell you really missed me a lot Sam." Mikeala was pissed with a capital P, I, double S, E and D. " and I thought you were better Sean."

"Keep Sean outta this, he was still going crazy. And I'm pretty sure he's still a virgin." Sam growled back and I smacked the back of his head pretty hard. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For not fighting back idiot! She-it kissed me and tasted like oil! She dug her heels into his hands and I'm pretty sure that would've hurt." I growled at her and she shut up. I gave Sam the eye that said 'you owe me later'. Mikeala asked Leo who he was, then Leo started to say something but the Library door blew up. It surpised all of us, so Sam and I lept to the lights. I didn't really think of anything other than: get out, get out, protect Sameul, get out and to your car.

We ran from the Terminator as we entered the courtyard with people screaming and yelling then Alice fell down the Rabbit hole and hit her head one to many times so she turned into a killer robot following us. Mikeala jump started a car as we all piled in, me hitting Leo when he "observed" her.

"What is with you and hitting?" Leo whined as Mikeala drove the car.

"I'm panicking! K? Comprede?" I told him as Robo-Alice jumped infront of the car.

"No! Whoa! Tongue tongue tongue!" Sam screeched as it moved its long string-like appendage with a HUMAN tongue at the end of it. Leo even started to panic, not that it isn't easy to make him panic. I just hang onto the seat behind Sam with dear life, hoping that it wouldn't notice me at all.

"Kiss this bitch." Mikeala muttered as she rammed the car into a pole, somehow not setting off the airbags. She killed it and drove away from the scene with a battered car that should've exploded or something. I calmed my panicked heart for a few seconds before something else decided to be a wonderful, exciting friend. Please tell me you hear the sarcasm, I BEG of you.

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Posted August 28, 2014


	5. Mr Dorito of Doom

**hey guys! So, I've decided what I'm doing for the ending, as I can picture it in my head! **

**Theres a surpise at the endish, as I've always thought that the new mech would look good as what I painted him as. **

**so, I thought about splitting this into two chapters, but one would be really short, so that's why it took longer for me to post this. **

**Also: LONGEST STORY AT THE MOMENT!**

**And it will keep getting longer, as I have everything AFTER the movie in plan, but I won't tell you guys! hehe**

**WARNING: SUCKY ENDING BECAUSE AUTHER COULD NOT DECIDE HOW TO END THIS! ALSO, EDREEN DOES NOT OWN TRANSFORMERS. **

* * *

So while we were having SUCH a bloody fun ride down the streets to get as FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE from the robotic-douche who may still be alive, this helicopter swoops in and almost takes off my head! How this happened was it latched through the roof and anchored it onto the hood, cutting off a good inch of hair from the top of my head. And why people on the highway didn't STOP when a HELICOPTER WAS FLYING ABOUT A FOOT ABOVE THEM I HAVE NO CLUE!

Sorry, I REALLY need to stop panicking, but you try being lifted over a waterway under a helicopter that could drop you and drown you! Huh!? Sorry, really stressed. My thoughts are reallllllllllyyyyyyyy messed up.

I also fainty saw what looked like a clone of my car racing after us. Just my car just got stolen... I should be panicking about that! But it's like, 'oh, ok, I'll call 911 after I finish my shower', type of emergancy. But at the moment, we were being carried by a helicopter!

"WHOA!" Sam started to slip from the car, so me and Mikeala jumped over to save him. Heard that water feels like concreate when you fall from this distance. The seat was in the way, but it didn't matter.

"Hang on Sam!" I cried as his girlfriend and I grabbed hold of his arm, shouting to him about holding on. We heaved him up and i grabbed his neck from where i was, to make sure he doesn't fall again. He may have choak a bit, but it wasn't my fault! I loosened my hold and above a building, the helicopter dropped us.

"Whoa! Fuck!" And many other swears were uttered by yours truly as we went down and hit the concreate. Seeing that I was the only one to even put a seat belt on, though those things need to be at least four times the width to do anything effective, I wasn't as hurt as Leo, but more hurt than Mikeala and Sam, who had airbags that finaly opened!

Lucky bastards.

Two giant robots, one that looks like a dorito and another that needs a whole new make-over then crashed into the building too.

"Come here boy. And your double." We had all just got out, of the destroyed car that had somehow split in half. I'm un-observant. And did the need a makeover bot say me as an after thoughts? The nerve. Sam and I inched closer by a few feet. "Nnnn... Closer" he growled this as we came even closer. Put your right foot in, take your right foot out, put your right foot back in and shake it all about! If your scared-as-shit clap your hands! If your scared-as-shit clap your hands! Ahh... Songs, make no sense but somehow do nothing to improve my mood or situation at all. I just thought that maybe I could make it somewhat better for me.

"Oh god." Mikeala muttered.

"You remeber me don't you?" Big Bad Bot asked.

"Nope, haven't recalled seeing something as ugly as you in my life. Other than a yorkie." I automatically say and they both turned their faces to me. Even Sam and Mikeala had looks of horror on their faces. "Ignore me, I'm just digging a deeper grave for myself. Already about one hundred twenty six feet down and counting."

"Okay, okay, I did what you want. Just don't hurt them." Sam told them as we steadily came closer. Their attention was turned back to him.

"Shut up!" BBB yelled at Sam and picked him up and dumped him on the table.

"Aargh!" Sam screeched as Dorito and BBB pinned him down on the table. I really wanted to just go over there and smack their overgrown asses into place, but I knew in the long run, that it would be bad.

"It feels good to grab your flesh!" BBB growled with a smirk on his face. I growled internisly at this, getting ready for a huge retort, "I am going to kill you! Slowly. Painfully. But before that we have some delicate work to do." A smaller bot, barely the size of my hand came out. I have huge hands, don't judge me! I can't get the Pringles out of that tiny can so enjoy your incredibly small fingers while they last!

If you too have huge hands, sucks to be us.

"Half-ass son of a tin can." I grumbled under my breath at them as I glared daggers at the three 'cons. Mikeala shot me a look, though I couldn't see it, as my gaze was focused solely on all weak points that they could've have.

"Oh how I could snap your limbs off! Docter, examine," he spat the word with evil glee, "this alien specimen."

"If anyone's Alien, it's you, you no-good peice of trash that a squirrel couldn't see! An atom is more important than you!" I snapped at the evil robots. Mikeala was looking like she would fucking murder me, if they didn't first. And by the looks on their their faces, they would in a heartbeat. BBB gave Dorito a glance and Dorito picked me up in his hand, what people would say in the usual hostage holding position. When gaint people are envolved.

"You annoy me fleshly." BBB grumbled as Mini-Creepy-Ass or MCA fished a worm about the size of my middle finger, something i would gladly give these giant idiots.

"And stupissayswhat?" I quickly said, air in dire need as Dorito was squishing me. If this was going to be my last moment, but for some reason i knew it wasn't going to be now, i would go down knowing i insulted a enourmous sentinal being. Wow, big words! High five Mikki! Oh, wait, i'm trapped in the hand of the DOD being squised to death. Mikki is Mikeala by the way.

"What?" BBB and DOD asked at the same time, making Leo hold onto his snickers. BBB came closer to me, but sharply turned around as the worm seemed to come out of Sam's nose. The worm projected some of his memories with the symbols we have been seeing. "Cybertronian." BBB muttered as MCA announced it.

"Oh there they are." Ugly number one growled out, smirkj evident in his voice.

"Thats what i'm seeing in my head!" Sam tells them. Oh, bad call Sammster. It looks like someone gonna need some pain killers. Ok, turning into a sadidist. And returning to a no-panicking state. Is it weird for me to feel calm? Wait, lost of air... i think that somewhat explained.

"Um, loser of a twin brother. You forgot the 'WE' in that sentance." I said to them, and Dorito loosened his grip. "Thank you Mr. Dorito of Doom. I could sure go for some coffee. I dibs cockpit!"

BBB barely ignologed me, and started to instruct the Docter to take out his brain. "Hey, hey. I know your pissed, and annoyed by Sean, but who isn't? Because i tried to kill you, and, its completely understandable. If someone tried to kill me i'd be upset too." Hey! I would like to have you know that I am not annoying, everyone is just annoyed by me! Big differance.

"Should've finished the job, Sam. He would look better in a coffin." I commented, feeling really sincere about it. "Or underwater. Take your pick."

"Starscream, silence the fleshly." BBB told Dorito, now named Starscream.

"Bite my shiny metal ass." I growled.

"Sean! What is with you and making things harder?" Sam screeched as MCA moved a saw closer to his forehead.

"Nothing." I reply happily, "Just stalling." The second i said that, the roof exploded and a large blue and red along with a white, with flames on its legs, decided to crash the party. Whoopee fucking doo!

Big Blue smashed into BBB while White tackled Icecream. White punched Icecream in the face, grabbed me and stored me away in one of the wires in his neck and proceded to beat the crap out of Starscream. I cheered, seeming to be slightly insane (I'm not, Aunty had me tested. I almost failed so...) as a left hook was punched in his stomach. Right cross, left jab, upper cut and a huge kick in the stomach to bring the bad boy down.

"_..And stay down_." A voice from the radio told Icecream, pointing one of the wierd cannon thingies on his arms at Starscream. I looked around the warehouse and saw that there was no one in it. Just me and the huge-ass robot that I was sitting on. And the sirens of police cars. The robot looked around before placing me on the ground. Not too gently mind you, before he transformed into the white Lamboghini. I stood there, looking at what was my car with the drivers door open.

"_you gunna gawk *fizzle* or are you going to get in dumbass?_" The radio buzzed with two different voices, a female one first then a gruffer male one. I quickly jumped in and held onto the 'oh shit' bar as the door closed, the seatbelt clicked over me and the lambo powered into gear. I laughed as the lambo skidded left and right, trying to get traction before it shot forward and out of the warehouse.

The lambo slowed down as we merged into traffic. "Hey, since I've been driving you for who knows how long -wow, that sound really dirty- what's your name? 'Cause I can allways call you Lambo, Lamb, It, Robot or Ghini." I told the radio.

"_I'm walking on Sun- *fizzle* a streak of *fizzle* -er._" The robot told me after about five seconds of silence, obivously saying that he disliked me, but tolerated me. Somewhat.

"So... Sun-streak-er." I tested out the name after disifering the radio sayings. Here was my thinking: Ok, so he stopped after Sun, so first part done. A streak of, with streak as the middle, most prodomiant word so second done. Er was easy, added that on the end to make Sunstreaker.

A round of slow clapping from the gif told me I got it right. I leaned back in the seat. "Well, if you didn't know my name by now, its Sean Alexander Witwicky. Just sayin." I told Sunstreaker, only he ignored me. This gave me a few things to think about.

1) Sam knew about this and hid it from his own twin. That must be major taboo somewhere in my books. I knew I saw his face in the Mission City segment of , so now he hid it from me for at least two years. Granted, I didn't tell him how one of my best friends died in a car crash with his mom about three years ago either, but still! Giant alien robots are a big deal. Plus he said he killed that ugly bastard who I had named BBB for short. He ain't look dead to me.

2) what about college? My aunt expects me to be in NASA or some big business head and earn tons of money. I never wanted to either, but a mechanic or someone that paints cars. So I always hid this one little thing from her, as I was really good at it and I love cars too.

3) my car is a Robot. My car is _a robot. My car_ is a robot. I had never thought I heard those words in the same sentence. Was that Camero a robot too? It seems likely...

"Sunny, can you explain why you guys are here?" I asked after about ten minutes of those three things running through my head with some pie, pi, new paint job for Sunshine and seagulls. "Oh, and try to explain it in a way that stupid humans can understand."

**"Well, let's see if this works."** A deep, but at the same time childish, vain and snarky voice sounded through the radio, "**I'm only saying this once fleshy, so if you can't understand me, then go frag yourself. I am what you would call an alien. Aliens in a intergalactic civil war because so Dumbaft named Megatron -the big scary looking dude that your twin 'killed'- decided he didn't like the system on Cybertron and decided to fuck everything up. Thus, creating the war. Lasting about twice as long as your planets been alive, we thought it would be done, but OH NO! Some Decepticons revived the old piece of scrap metal so now we have to continue the damn war.**

**"Oh, ones with blue eyes are good, red eyes are bad. Or, if they are in alt form -such as this handsome Lamboghini- red square faces are good, dark colored pointy-faces are bad. Kaprende?"** Wow, that had so many insults to my intelligence, I wonder if I even have a brain! And I just insulted myself. Wow...

"Completely Canary." I told the driving robot. A thought ran into my head. I reached over to the glove box and grabbed my wallet, somehow it stayed with Dafodill the whole time. I smirked when I saw how much money I had. "Hey, I'm taking over." I told Sunstreaker before grabbing the wheel gently, putting my foot on the gas and taking over.

"_Hey! *fizzle* I don't like to be manhandled!_" Rubber ducky said, but didn't complain. Much. I hummed a few songs I knew by heart as I went to where I worked. Mr. Mc-L said that he owed me for something... And it's only been a week! It took about five minutes from where we were to get to the shop.

"Sean! What ya doing here man?" My friend/co-worker wondered as he came from the paint shop. "And wow, when you said you had a sweat ride, I thought ya ment a buggy or somethin'" Now, as I describe this wonderful friend of mine, I hope that I don't sound racist or anything. So anyways, he's a black man about my height, only three inches shorter. He's an amazing person, so yeah.

"Jazzy! Hey, is the fast-drying paint being used?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"'Supose to be closed today, but ah thought I might as well, so you can use the dryer if ya need it done fast. Takes about five minutes for the paint to dry if ya do it that way." Jazz told me, "and I'll even help! Half hour, tops. Boss won't know you've been here."

"Thanks Jazzester. I was thinking canary yellow with those weird box-like flame thingies as navy." I told him, thinking it through. "Like, a really dark navy, almost black, but you can still see the blue."

Jazz nodded. "Yellow huh? Nice color. And I think I know about those boxy-things. You've always had a good taste." Jazz and I then started the half-hour long process of placing the plastic sheets and creating the whole base coat of yellow of the Lamboghini. Ah this was happening, Sunstreaker had relaxed after realizing he was going back to his normal yellow color. Even if he had to have Navy blue, but some color is better. About twenty minutes in, we placed the home-made stencil that I worked on as Jazz dried the paint quickly on the sides. The stencil had two lines that faded with boxes also fading along the lines. We would only need one coat of navy, as it was really dark.

After everything dried, us two humans stepped back and looked at our work. "Well, that is a work of art." Jazz commented before slapping me on the back, "now go and have fun with your alien."

"What?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Scrap." Jazz muttered before he started to click and whirr, **"how stupid can I be? Pit-spawned son of a glitch I am!"**

"I can understand you Jazz." I commented and he stopped speaking and started to rub his head sheepishly.

"Then I can explain almost everything." He smiled, "But I can't explain how Sunshine is even allowing you to mess up his paint."

"**Then you have three minutes. AND DONT CALL ME SUNSHINE!**" Banana shouted at Jazz and I laughed at them.

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Posted sometime between August 28 and August 30, 2014


	6. Someone shit the bed this mornin'

**heya people! Next segment of the story coming to you from main street! So, school is starting up soon(two days) so I'm so excited! I just cant hide it! **

**And here's the thing I forgot to mention:**

**edreen does not own Transformers in anyway-shape or form, nor will she/he be buying the company anytime soon. Sheh only ownuh Seanh Alexahnder Witwickeh Gooh daeh.**

* * *

"Ok, so here's the deal~" Jazz started in the passenger seat as I sat in the drivers seat as Sunstreaker was looking for a way to leave the city. Turns out his communications, 'twin bond' (whatever the hell that means) was broken by this dickhead named Shockwave and GPS and any other extra features he had was broken. So in all, he was a giant, metal alien human that can't really talk human speach. Also he can transform into a car, don't forget that part.

"When the Misson City battle happened, I was being a Dumbaft and decided to go frag with Megatron, so me, being amazing, decided to be smart and say 'you want a piece of me?'. Megatron then ripped me in half." Sunstreaker jerked, making us snap forward for a second and traffic to honk at us. Sunstreaker honked back by the way.

"_YOU DEAD MAN? *fizzle* everyone, stand back, I am a professional. *fizzle* and then I died. *fizzle* that was the best plan ever. Not_." Sunstreaker told him with a eye roll. Not that you could see it, but it was still there. Obviously, he was saying he had such a huge ego that he thought he could take on Megatron.

"Ok, ignore the PMSing bot and continue Jazz." I told him with a laugh. Sunstreaker gave a growl of his engine.

Jazz raised an eyebrow at Sunstreaker, but continued, "Well, then I went to the well of the Allsparks and Primus came to me and pointed. I kid not, he literaly said '_GO BACK! I do not need someone as annoying as you in here! Megatron I can handle, but you GO!_' So then I poofed into this body and some nice guy almost ran over me, but that ain't important at the moment, so he took care of me until I got a place to myself. Which I have myself by the way. And that is my life story on earth." Jazz slumped and kicked his feet on the dash.

I jumped towards him and placed his feet back on the ground, surpising him. "You dirty this car and I'll strip you into pieces, got that? I didn't buy 500 dollar car cleaner for you to dirty the dashboard." I growled out, completely serious in my threat. Jazz held his hands up and kept his feet on the ground after that. I yawned. I really bought a 500 dollar car cleaner with 100 dollar waxes. Jazz was also the second person to ever be in the passenger seat.

"_Breakdown *fizzle* now that was hilarious_!" Sunstreaker commented and I smacked the wheel.

"Hey! Giggling like a little girl is not funny!" I protested, eyes wide with Jazz started to laugh as Sunstreaker put a holo form of what Sam and I did in the room. Jazz watched with fascination.

"Hey, is your bro Sam?" Jazz asked. I nodded with a childish pout on my face. "Well, did you know your brother is writing something about—"

OoOoOo

"What is that?!" Sam asked as Simmons stripped in a parking lot.

"What?" Simmons asked "I wear them when I'm in a flunk. So does Giambi, Jeter. It's a baseball thing." He explained the weird thing in his crotch as he pulled on pants. He then started to rant, "ok, watches synchronized, sharp mind and empty bladder. You get caught, demand an Attorny and don't say my name. Okay, take this pill and put it under your toungue. It's a high-concentrate polymer that they put in Oreos. Tricks the polygraph everytime. Okay, time to get this show on the road."

"Whoa whoa, I can't do this." Leo stuttered and backed away from Simmons, who pointed in his face.

"Yes." Simmons told him.

"I'm not some alien bounty hunter guys. I'm not gunna do this. Guards have guns, I don't wanna die." Leo told him, hoping they would allow him to escape his torturous end.

"Kid. Kid. Kid. Kid, kid, kid. You compromise this mission, you are dead to me. Now look into my eyes and tighten up that sphincter." Simmons growled out. Leo, much to his utter dismay, has been roped into this, so he could only nod meekly.

OoOoOo

"Wait! Stop! Please!" Sam, Simmons and Mikeala told Jetfire, the badass old Decepticon. This was about a day after Megatron and Starscream 'kidnapped' Sean, and they were going to think about this after they saved the world for a second time.

Jetfire turned to the humans, "what do you want?" He asked.

"Look, we just want to talk." Sam raised his hands in the universal 'I surrender' or 'don't shoot' position.

"I have no time to talk. I'm on a misson. I'm a mercenary doom-bringer." As an after thought, Jetfire added, "what planet am I on?"

"Earth."

"Earth. A terrible name for a planet. Might as well call it dirt. Planet dirt." Jetfire grumbled about the name of their wonderful, tiny planet. "Tell me, is that robot civil war still going on? Who's winning?"

"Eh... The Decepticons." Sam supplied.

Jetfire spits onto the ground, "well, I changed side to the Autobots." But we all know he was thinking 'well, fuck.', so we're all good with that Autobot flyer. He is a SPY for the Autobots! Good team red-faces!

"What do you mean, change sides?" Sam asked, as if not understanding what he was talking about. If Sean was there, he would explain it in a Chinese accent, mainly because that's really the easiest to explain something to someone. That, no matterr if they spoke another language and could hardly understand your language, makes it really helpful, or make them sound dumb.

"A choice." Jetfire explains, not that he really needs to, but dumb human need explaination. "A EXTREMLY personal decision. So much negativity. Who would want to live a life filled with hate?" Good explaination to dumb human.

"You mean you don't work for those Decepticons?" Wheelie asked, hopefully. Jetfire confirmed this with something about destroying the world. "I'm changing sides too! I'm changing sides too, warrior goddess. Who's your Autobot?" Wheelie then proceded to hump Mikeala's leg, who awed as if he was a puppy climbing on her leg.

"What are you allowing to happen to your foot?" Sam asked, outraged and shocked.

Mikeala growled, "at least he's fateful!"

"Hey! Sean could've helped me! He was just standing there, giggling like a school girl!" Sam protested.

"Blame it all on your brother why don't ya? Bet he's sneezing up a Storm now." Mikeala told him with narrowed eyes. She was correct, Sean was sneezing so bad, he asked if Jazz or Suntsreaker had been around a certain flower lately. He's allergic to Daffodils. Kinda ironic.

"Can't you just stop?" Sam kicked Wheelie off of 'Warrior Goddess'' leg. Wheelie protested. "It's just something to think about. I won't argue with... What were you saying?" Sam directed the question to Jetfire.

"I told you my name was Jetfire! Stop judging me!" And with that, he leaned in closer to the humans.

"Well someone shit the bed this morning." And there goes Wheelie with his version of 'someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning'.

"I have issues of my own! And It started with my mother! My ancestors have been here for centuries! My father was the first wheel, you know what he could transform into?" Jetfire asked the rhetorical question.

"No." Simmons told him.

"Nothing! But he did so with honor! Diginty!" Jetfire then 'farted' and his parachutes came out, making him trip and land on his back, flipped over. "Damn it! My boosters are fried! Aww..."

"I think we can help each other. You know things I don't know, you know things that I don't know." Sam suggested to the fallen seeker.

Leo decided to put his two cents in, "I don't think he knows anything, I honestly don't."

Sam rolled his eyes and started to draw the symbols in his head. As he drew more, Jetfire's face began to get increasingly disgusted. "I could do this all day. It comes in waves, these vivid symbols."

"Vivid alright." Jetfire grumbled, making him stop.

"Do you understand what these are?" Sam asked

"Completely. And I'm utterly disgusted at what you are writing. Oh Primus have mercy on your soul." Jetfire told Sam. Everyone else was really confused by Jetfire and his remorseful voice. The twins and Bumblebee wondered what was so bad about those symbols. Jetfire looked at their confused faces. "It's what humans would call 'robot porn'. In very detail description too."

.

.

.

"What?! So we came here to show you robot porn! Sam!" Simmons yelled at the boy. "Is there anything else that came in contact with that sliver." Everyone looked disgusted, while the Twins were shocked. Hey, you can count how many times the twins were shocked into silence on one finger! Twice if you count the thumb. Bee has stood still for about five seconds before he put his hands over his ears and started to whirl and move around, sometimes smacking his head.

Someone needs Brain Bleach!

"Well, there is my brother." Sam told them, "but he was captured by Starscream." He said remorsefully.

"Aint no way ya twin had been captchared by that slaggar, 'Beeh said that Starscream was betthen to bits, almost chouldn't flyh." Mudflap told them and everyone glared at the bots. "What? Takeh it up on 'Beeh, he's tha one that told meh, ain't myh fault that he can't talkh!"

"Well, I got enough power for two-" as Jetfire said this, a bright yellow car with navy decals came from nowhere. The yellow Lamboghini slid on the grass and stopped right in front of them. Two men, one looking a lot like Sean and a black dude like a shorter Epps came out, holding onto the ground.

"What the fuck!" Sean's voice cried from the drivers side of the yellow Lambghini.

"Ah man, that ain't cool!" The black dude said, leaning back on his knees before slapping the car, "up yah get Sunshine." The car then began to transform into a Sideswipe-looking robot with huge ear-looking things and a angry expression on his face.

"_Which muterfucker woke me up from my beauty rest_?" The bright yellow robot growled and cracked his 'knuckles' as best as he could. Sam and the rest gulped at seeing another Decepticon.

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Posted August 28, 2014


	7. Jazz is an Old man?

**yellow everyone! This is Chapter seven, and as you can see, Sunny reminds me of a Duckie so I decided to have Sean call him Ducky. In the last chapter, I tried to only say Sunstreaker as little as possible, so that means names, names, names of things that are yellow. **

**Like rubber Duckie, banana, sunflower, Sunshine, Sunny, Dandilion, daffodi. And a few others. **

**I, by the power invested in me, I do not own Transformers nor its franchise. I only own Sean Alexander Witwicky, my Oc. and has anyone ever told you that i can't buy Transformers?**

**enjoy**

* * *

"Whoa whoa! Ducky, get your feathers together and SNAP OUTTA IT!" I stood infront of Sunstreaker with Jazz laughing at the name. Sunstreaker stood still for a moment before bending down to me as he registered the nickname. What? He reminded me of a Rubber Ducky.

"**I shall kill you in the most horrible way possible**." He claimed, pointing and pushing me slightly over with one of his fingers.

"Uh huh, you do that." I said non-chalantly before turning towards Sam and the gang. "So, Sam, Mikkie and Leo, mind introducing me to the small robot, big robot, medium robots and the dude who looks like he needs to stop hanging with his momma all the time." Then I realized something, "oh, this is Sunstreaker and Jazz. Jazz being the human."

"'Sup bitches? This seems like a cool place to kick it." Jazz greeted as he jumped on Sunner's foot. Suntreaker gave the middle finger as he lightly kicked off the African American. Sam and Mikeala's eyes popped out at the voice he had and what he said. "And yes, I am the Jazz that got ripped in half by Megatron."

"_So fuck off!_" Sunstreaker said in a squeaky girl voice.

"Uh... That's Simmons, Jetfire and Wheelie." Sam told them. There was a yellow robot and two idiotic looking robots. "And my guardian Bumblebee and the twins Mudflap and Skids. So, Jazz, are you what you say you are?"

"Um... 'Hides a trigger happy mech and I'm best friends with a bot named Prowlier. He ain't here right now I don't think.

Sunstreaker narrowed his eyes at them, mainly the twins, looking them over as he shifted from foot to foot and crossed his arms. Jazz snickered at them as Jetfire gathered all of them with his hands, Sunstreaker scowling at him for some reason. Most likely his new paint job that I had JUST waxed. Jazz tried to help but failed. Oh so hard. So I did it all by myself and tried to show Jazz how to do it, but I'm the worst teacher in the universe. Yeah, more bad things than good things, but Sunstreaker counts for over half of my bad things so it is made even!

Don't question my logic, half the time I don't know anything. Wait, my eye is twitching. Oh no.

"Ok, double of Sam, draw the gliffs in your head with this stick." Jetfire told me. I yelled with glee and took the knife from his hand and proceded to draw the gliff, crackling madly.

"Great! He's having another attack! See Mikeala!" I faintly heard Sam saw something as I drew each and every Cybertronian word.

"Are you recording this Sunny?" Jazz's voice was next.

"_Fuck yeah_."

"... And there's the blue nose, grass ,grass, grass, grass, grass. Dirt pile, dirt pile, dirt pile! Hey look a worm! Die wormie! Andddddddddddd Done!" I put the finishing touches to the gliffs as I had my spaz attack. I placed my hands on my hips and gazed at Sunstreaker who was above me. "Now ain't that a work of art Ducky?"

"_No_." Sunstreaker told me and I pouted at him.

I turned back to Jetfire, who was mumbling something and gathering everyone closer together as Sam was trying to talk to him. Again, I wasn't really listening. "Everybody hold on! Stay still or you'll die!" Then a zap came and everything went black.

OoOoOo

"Ow... My head." I grumbled and looked around where I was. Bright yellow bars were in front of me, only, they were horizontal, so that made me either think I was in a weird cell, or I was somewhere else. Then my 'cell' moved and it began to jet hot air from the black, abyss part that I dared not go to and cooler air from the yellow bars.

"_Uhh... Am I dead_?" A radio clip of a young boy said.

"Uh.. No I don't think so. Unless heaven is black with yellow bars." The whole place that was moving froze and it started to get warmer. Then a huge hand came and smacked right beside where I was standing and clinging onto the bars after I saw they didn't harm me when I banged into them.

"WHOA! SUNSHINE, WARN ME WHEN YOU DO THAT, K?" Jazz's voice had amplified and I thought he was right next to me. "JUST BECAUSE I AM IN YOUR HEAD VENTS, DOES NOT MEAN YOU GO AROUND WILLY NILLY!" I jumped and looked around. Appearently, I was in Duckie's head.

"DITTO!" I yelled back and Sunstreaker shook his head, making me cling into the vents to keep myself from going into the black abyss that is his head. He sighed, making hot air come through the vents for a second. Then he started to move, only I couldn't feel his footsteps this time. He must've used his wheels that were inside his ankles. We moved for a few moments before we met up with Simmons scolding Jetfire. Wow, Sam and the others look like ants.

"Oh shut up." Jetfire told Simmons. "I told you I was opening a space bridge. It's the fastest way to travel to Egypt." Sunny shifted his weight and I saw him cross his arms, looking at Jetfire as I looked halfway between the bars. I looked at Sunstreaker's face and noticed it looked different up close. He had bright yellow face armour with navy blue dots that moved around his glowing blue eyes by an inch before sharply going to where his nose would be if he was human. It stopped there before slanting down until it reached his sharp square jaw joint, but even then, it continued half an inch straight down before it stopped. His mouth was in a straight, hard line, as if he hated everything, but his eyes showed that he was looking at everything with an artistic eye, catching everything and anything to be used for later.

Such as Blackmail. I get the prankster vibe from him.

"When..." Sam looked at Jetfire in disbelif. "When did you tell us? You didn't tell us anything. You didn't tell us anything. Why are we in Egypt? Oh, and Sunstreaker, where is my brother?"

"Hi Sam!" I waved, halfway out of Duckie's 'ear'. "Jazz is over there." I pointed to Duckie's other vent, or, in front of it as Jazz has already maneuvered out. It's it weird that Aunt Jazmine and Jazz can be called the same thing? Well, I call Jazmine JazzY and Jazz, Jazz.

Jetfire looked at us for a moment, "well, that's a first." He commented.

"**You owe me a new paint job**." Sunstreaker growled at him, pouting as he looked at one of his arms slightly. I looked at it too and saw a few new scratches and I whined. I had worked so hard on the paint job and waxing. That wax was expensive!

Jetfire turned to Sam again, completely ignoring Dandilion. "Don't get snippy with me fleshling. You were duly informed."

"Twice." Jazz told him. "Twice did us three gone through theh ground bridge man. Ah still get theh weesies." He mumbled this next part, "Ah always hated ground bridges."

Again, the group ingored us as I sat on Sunny's blue shoulder. Sunny's eyes drifted to me for a sec as I started to rub some of the sand from the dark blue surface. I'm a clean freak, k? And I'm sure Sunstreaker is too because he likes me (so says Jazz, but only because I cleaned him and waxed him.) Like this one time I split sticky juice on the seat and I freaked out. I took him to the garage and just started to give the whole car a thuro cleaning until he shined.

Now I know why he likes me.

"Can you stop for one moment? Can you, can you tell us WHY we're in Egypt so we can all have a little bit of semblance of peace of mind?" I snorted at the peace of mind part. Being friends with alien robots, you cannot have peace of mind. Someone tapped my head and I saw Jazz standing there.

"Wanna play eye-spy? They obivously don't take anything we say into account." Jazz asked as he sat down next to me. "Ah'll go first. Ah spy with my little eye something brown."

"The rocks." I told him and he sighed, but nodded. We both agreed to just listen.

"Yes you see," Jetfire started his story, "In the begining, there were seven primes, our orginal leaders. And they set out into the distant universe, seeking for suns to harvest. The Primes set out with one rule. Never destroy a planet with life."

"Don't you mean a sun that has a solar system with a planet with life on it?" Jazz inquired.

"Yes, let me finish you old fool." Jazz looked shocked at how Jetfire adress him. Jazz looks about twenty, that is young! If Jettie was human, he would be the oldest person ALIVE! Like, from Cleopatra's time!

Place referance!

"As I was saying, Until a prime tried to break this rule. His name was forevermore, the Fallen."

I leaned towards Jazz, "why don't we name him Sunstreaker?" Jazz snorted and tried to cover his mouth to an attempt to keep his laughter in.

I smirked while Sunstreaker gave me a dirty look. **"I will kill you.**" Sunstreaker told me.

"You do that. I'll be waiting. Now hush, I'm listening to the story." I patted his ear behind me as Jazz let out a calming breath, only to chuckle at how I acted around him.

"He dispised the human race and he wanted to kill you by turning on that machine. The only way to activate it is with a key, a legendary key called the Matrix of Leadership. A great battle was raged over the possession of the Matrix. The Fallen was stronger than his brothers, so they had no choice to steal and hide it from the Fallen.

"In the ultimate sacrifice, they gave their lives to seal the matrix in the tomb of their own bodies. A Tomb we cannot find. Somewhere, in this very desert, the machine remains. And the Fallen knows where it is. And, if he can find where the Matrix is your world will be now more."

.

.

.

"Well, I personaly like my world intact, thank you very much." I told them, leaning back on Dafoldil's shoulder, "how do we stop him?"

"Only a prime can stop him." Jetfire explained, as if there was no Hope.

There was a pause before Sam spoke, "Optimus Prime?"

Jetfire leaned closer to him, "you know a Prime?"

"He sacrifised himself to save me." Well, Sam, you better be grateful, because only he would do that.

"Oh. So he's dead?" Jetfire deflated, not so visably. Only an artist's eye can detect when barely visably things people forget. "Without a Prime, defeating the fallen is impossible. Well, unless you find you brother." He looked to Sunstreaker as the daffodil puffed out his chest.

"What? What do you mean! I thought that only a Prime could defeat the fallen." Sam threw his hands up.

"Sunstreaker is one of the only bots that has ever taken on Megatron and lived." Jetfire explained as he raised Sunstreaker's ego even more.

"_Twice_." Ducky boasted.

"Yeah, both you and Sides were scrapped afterwards. Ratch' had a fit." Jazz laughed.

"Back on topic, couldn't we use the energy in the Matrix to revive Optimus?" Sam asked.

Jetfire considered it, as Sunstraeker started to get really antsy, moving back and forth on his wheels or stepping on each one, shifting weight from time to time. Even pulling out his blades once or twice. Scaring the shit outta Sam. "It's never been disigned for that purpose, but I don't see why not."

"So then, how to we get to the Matrix before the Decepticons find me?"

"Nah, they want your twin more. You just have porn in ya head." Jetfire rumbled before shooing us away, "follow your mind, your map, your symbols. What your brother carved in the sand will lead you! When the Dawn alights the Dagger's Tip, three kinds will reveal the doorway! Find the doorway! Go now! Go!"

Sunstreaker moved away and towards the edge before jumping off, waiting on the ground for the others to get there. Jazz and I screeched in high decibels as we struggled to hold on for the free fall of ten seconds. In about five seconds, we both slipped and Sunstreaker grabbed us and threw us in the air. Sunny landed, snapped around and caught us as we fell.

"Ow, Sunshine, ah may have been a 'bot, but ah'm human now so OUCH FRAGGER!" Jazz complained for both of us as I looked around.

"Can we do that again?" I asked.

"_No_."

"Fucker."

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Posted September 7, 2014


	8. Sean is good at card games

**Welcome, to the eighth Chapter! Now, only two people reviewed during the time from now to the last posting, it made me a little disappointed as it was a longer chapter, but I'm still doing this one. Oh, and I just was playing Transformers Legends on my phone and I'm hooked. First day and I've already gotten to over 14000 in rankings! That's pretty good in my books!**

**finally! Some video game I'm good at that isn't Mario Cart!**

**There's a little something somethin near the end. **

**Edreen does not own, nor does she plan to buy Transformers. She only owns Sean Alexander Witwicky. **

**Enjoy. **

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So, since Bumblebee wasn't a F-750 (a huge freaking truck by the way), Jazz and I opted out on being in Sunstreaker for the drive. Somehow, (this totally does not include stealing. Totally does not include stealing K-Mart) Jazz had _walkie talkies_ in his pants, so we are currently using that so we could all communicate, since Duckie wasn't lying about his Coms down. Bumblebee tried to contect with Sunny(making both flinch), so the walkie talkies were really the only way to communicate. Sunny had also threatened 'Bee if he commed any Autobot, he would shove 'Hatchet's' wrench up his tail pipe, mainly because he wanted to be fashionably late in his own way. Also to slag with some bot named Sides.

Aw... How sweet!

"_Ok, so here's what my CIA contact says. Ancient Sumerians used to call the Gulf of Aqaba the Dagger's tip."_

_"That's the dagger's tip."_

_"It's part of the Red Sea. Divides Egypt and Jordan like the tip of a blade. 29.5 degrees North, 35 East. Here it is."_

"Three twos."

"_First thing we gotta do is bring Optimus to the Dagger's tip."_

_"How are you going to get him from halfway around the world?"_

"Bullshit."

"HA! Look!" I flipped the cards in our huge deck. We were playing bullshit with three decks. A little over kill, but Jazz had only one card until he won, so now he has over 50 because three, perfect little twos of spades were shining ontop of the deck, as I had just flipped them over. Can you tell we were not listening?

"How the hell are you so good at this?" Jazz threw his cards up. It was his fifth time getting a whole huge deck. We keep bullshitting eachother when we had only one card.

I smirked, "that's for me to find out and for you to not know." I seriously had no idea how I was this good. I had a horrible poker face, but during a gambling match (my first time I might say) I went in with three thousand dollars and came out with over twenty.

Jazz looked at me with narrowed optics. I sighed, "a person looks to what ever is their writing hand side when they are lying. I know you bullshitted exactly eighteen times out of the twenty five times you put down your cards. I, on the other hand, have done three. FYI.

"The reason I didn't bullshit you was because it would've been funny if I called it when you placed your last card down, which I know is not a three."

"Seriously? Does it work for Cybertronians?" Jazz asked, seeing this as a good interrogation tool.

I smirked, "why do you think I wasn't worried that Duckie wouldn't kill me? He was lying the whole time." Sunstreaker gave a warning growl. "That was fake too. Too soft and not enough power in it." Sunstreaker **revved** and shot forward for a second, making both of us cling onto the seats and the cards fly everywhere.

"Was DAT fake?" Jazz shuttered, calming down as one of the twins, the green one I think, stopped suddenly when Sunny got close, making Sunny screech back, burning rubber and keeping his paint nice. The green one laughed but stopped as I grabbed one of my water bottles (a small METAL one) from the glove box, stuck my head out of the window and THREW it at the twin's paint, chipping it.

"NO ONE TOUCHES DA PAINT!" I yelled at him before putting my head back in and turning to Jazz. "That revve was real that time."

"Whas the thing 'bout the whole paint? Ya acting like Sunshine on a bad day." Jazz asked.

I shrugged, "OCD about keeping anything clean. Had it since I could really do anything. Aunt Jazzy said that she could go to the Moon if she wanted to find a place cleaned. Seriously, ask Duckie about that time I split juice in him. Made everything shine."

"You split juice in Sunshine?" I nodded. "Let me rep'rase that, you SPLIT _JUICE_ in SUNSHINE?" Again, I nodded. "Ya have a death wish. That's all I can say."

"'Bullshit' is what I say."

"_Are you two listening?_" Sam asked through the walkie talkie on the dash, the only place that didn't include the glove box that connected to Sunny's subspace where he would allow the walkie talkie to be. "_What was that thing with the swerving_?"

Jazz and I shared a grin, "Eight sixes." I tell him, pretending to place down the cards.

"Bullshit." Jazz smirked back, pretending to hold cards.

"Shit." I cursed and Jazz laughed as I scooped up the imaginary cards. Sunstreaker rumbled a snort at our antics, finding it pretty funny that we had played the game for over twenty minutes while the rest were talking. Plus, they were ignoring us again, as if we weren't really there and Eye Spy or 'I see :blank: on my side!' Are boring when everything is the same. Plus, we both got to learn new curses.

Like pit spawned son of a glitched hamster that got his aft outta a smelter that blew up and smacked his helm from when he was a 'bit.

It's nice to have friends... Ones that don't smack you whenever you curse, so now, because of upcoming events, I am going to curse my heart out!

"_Ok, we are in the middle of a intergalactic war here, how can you play BS at a time like this?"_ Leo fretted as he heard us.

"Well, this is the first time ah've ever relaxed befor' a battle, so ah'm talking this time to relax." Jazz leaned back in the seat, completely enjoying the feeling of relaxation. He wasn't the TIC at the moment, so relax away good man! And then Sunny smacked his head on the dash before realizing it and brought back to his seated position. Jazz took a few seconds before he held his now bleeding nose. It stopped after a second when he wiped his sleeve. Turns out he snagged something just below his nostrils and it started to bleed.

"I'm messed up." I explained and Jazz laughed along with Sam. "Almost failed a mentality exam. Online." I whispered the last part to Jazz and he snorted. Online mentality exams are really fun to do! They don't rellay exist but I did about twenty different ones! Mainly they were personality tests or other stuff like that, but I made them glitch!

Had to get a new computer about five times. That sucks.

"_Well, stop playing BS, I need to make a call and you guys are being annoying!_." Sam told me and we nodded, though he couldn't see us. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, having span and tires whirling, two cop cars ALMOST scratched the rear tire and bumper of Sunstreaker's car mode.

"ZHEE FUZZ IS COMMING! HIDE THE BOOZE!" I yelled as we all sped up.

"What booze?" Jazz asked as he covered his arm with a bright pink glove from the glove box and held his middle finger to the cops, careful not to show skin. He has GUUUUUTSSSS. Why do I have a ladie's pink glove? Oh yeah... He quickly pulled his hand backed in as I replied.

"Just wanted to say that. Again. For the fifth time." I muttered the last part. My friend before he died hated when I would repeat things again and again. I think he still hates that.

"_We need to lay low_!" Simmons told us and Sunstreaker's glove box opened again. A huge dirty brown sheet spilled over Jazz and I laughed. So that's where my car cover went to. I guess I need to appologise to Auntie for yelling at her.

"_You *fizzle* cover me_!" Sunstreaker demanded, _"not *fizzle* shifting."_

Jazz struggled with the car cover as Sunny's door opened and he tumbled out. Jazz quickly covered most of the yellow car facing the way there before climbing in himself and closing the door with a barely aduable pop. After a few moments, the cop cars drove pass and Mikeala gave us the good.

"Man! Stupid Cops, Haha!" One of the twins laughed as Jazz got back out and took off the car cover and tried to stuff it back into the glove box, but Sunny wasn't having it.

"Sunny, I will bring a paintball gun and shoot you if you don't take that into your subspace. Acculay, fuck it. Leave it Jazz." I grumbled.

"What got your panties in a twist?" Jazz smirked as he got back in, throwing the offending tarp away.

"Time zone change. Plus, I have no coffee." I grumbled, "that, plus me, equals some shit is going to be fucked up good." I yawned, "a good analogy is Sunny going on a 'Con hunt because he left about a meter long scratch in his paint."

Jazz whistled, "that is bad."

"_Fuck off_." Sunstreaker said through the radio, making me roll my eyes.

Sunstreaker POV

This squishy is so frustrating! I can't talk to him-it at all, and the radio has no way of telling him-it to get lost in so many words. Jazz isn't making this any better. And he got kicked out of the well of Allsparks, so he's still annoying me to no end. Worst than Sides at points.

But there are good things about this squishy. He-it reminds me of my brother, only with more of me. He-**IT** is like a combination of both of us! He-**_I.T. _**gave me a new paint job, even if the blue is on there and a wax job. He's- **_IT'S_** also a twin, but I'm pretty sure Sam-fleshy has something wrong in his head. Not inculding the 'robot porn'.

Sean- Squishy also calls me Duckie! Because I remind him of a rubber duck! Now, not that it's such a bad thing, but Sides is only allowed to call me Sunny or Sunshine, but Sean-Squishy has to take this to a whole new level of nicknames-that-piss-me-off. He's past 'Streaker and that's high on the list. Duckie is the new champion along with Banana. A fruit! How does he mix me up with a fruit! It isn't the same shade of yellow as me!

Sean-Squishy —frag it. Even my thoughts are starting to like him and it's too hard to correct my thoughts! And how does he know I'm 'left-handed'? He hasn't seen me or made any distinction between my left and my right!

And that seeker making that comment about me and Sides facing Megatron was slightly true, but Ratchet almost killed both of us after we battled him because Optimus needed a fragging break from battling him, so we (aka Sideswipe) decided to face him and got ourselves totaly slagged. Both my arms were ripped off,I had about a dozen leaking holes in my chassis, my vents were malfunctioning so I was overheating while Sides' legs were dangling by a wire and he was holding his left arm like many times before and his spark chamber had a massive hole in it. He would've died if it wasn't the top corner. But the worst part was my paint stayed _dull and scratched_ for five breems! I _swear_ that Mirage and Cliffjumper were just laughing at me!

All Megatron had was a few dents and a big slash in his right upper leg.

Then there was that one time in the Pits were it was Megatron and Prowl,of all mechs, agaisnt us two. Got both sides really slagged so it was a draw, not that it mattered to the watching mechs and femmes. Got more slagged during that match than the one agaisnt Megatron in the middle of the battle. But that was agaisnt two mechs, Prowl who has a fragging battle computer even then, but they were also fragged too.

Ripper was also a horrible medic by the way, wanted to give up half-way through.

I really like that game with cards called 'Bullshit'. Never knew Jazz could swear so much. I loved the 'I will format you into an overgrown toaster so Ratchet couldn't take you apart an dismantle you' threat that Sean retorted with, "you going to pick up those cards? I called Bullshit, remember?"

Then Sean got bullshitted and his curse was, "I will smash your face through that windshield, and punch your dick with a catus." Jazz's reply was, 'what's a dick?' I wondered that too and Sean gave us a complete crash-course of what he liked to call, 'sex-ed for dummies'. I'm still horrified, but at least I could turn off my audios. Karma is a bitch Jazz. That's what you get for calling me Sunshine!

It only lasted for a minute. Then they forgot all about it and went back to Bullshit. Also known as Cheat in a school-appropriate manner.

Simmion's first name is Seymour right? Well, says here he named after an island. Or the island is named after him. I'm sounding like Red Alert now...

Leo is so gittery, like a scared-as-scrap Bluestreak! I just want to slug him in the face with my heated blades.

Mikeala... I can't hit femmes(rule number 476 of Sideswipe's, not that I follow them) and she seems ok, as long as she doesn't try to touch my paint...

Then there will be shit to pay as many would say.

Fucked, it rhymed, now everyone is going to give me a hard time.

Again! Primus! Why does my head decide to do these things?!

_Because someone's an idiot._

Shut up voice. I will kill you

* * *

Posted September 13, 2014


	9. The Tomb of the Pri- DEAD BODIES!

**Hey guys! SO sorry for not posting ANYTHING for the last few months! I've been doing the wonderful art of Procrastination. Very hard to do. **

**So, To make up for this, this is the longest chapter of this story, and I'm setting a goal of at least 1 chapter every month. I'm getting to the good part, so that shouldn't be too long. **

**If going by the Month thing, I've already gotten to March. But alas, this is the chapter many of you have been waiting for, and many of you have PM'med me, so HERE IT IS! HALLELUJAH! Now, There are two songs that are going to be mixed, and its going to be awesome. The first one is one that i've had in my mind since... uh... chapter 4? And the second i've only done for about a month. **

**Hint: They both have the word BOOM in it. **

**Any**** sort of feedback is welcomed, but i know that some of the 'I's are lower cased when they are suppose to be upper case. And that many words in the eailer chapters are misspelled. I will (Maybe) get around to that. **

**So, for school we're doing this Wizard of Oz play for Show Choir, and i'm Oz! We're doing our own twist to the story and i'm going to make Oz slightly full of himself. YAY!**

**Disclaimer: I, the great and powerful Edreen , though i might be magical like Oz, Do not own, in any way, shape or form (Not even in a different dimension suckers), Transformers and just because i have Magic, does not mean that money can be poofed out of no where. So don't ask for any. I only own Sean, Alexander Witwicky. **

* * *

"_Oh my god, oh my god checkpoint! I don't have my passport!" _Leo fretted once again. I seriously want to just punch him in the face. I looked out of Sunny's window and had to sniffle a laugh by the great art of snorting. I elbowed Jazz and pointed to the checkpoint.

Jazz stared at the dude and blinked. "That's guys a midget." He said as if he was unsure.

"At least someone's shorter than you now!" I tell him and Jazz punched me in the shoulder in retaliation. He hates it when some bot- one, someone calls him short. In my two days of knowing him, that's what I learned.

And before anything gets out of hand, BAILEY OWES ME EIGHTEEN BUCKS! Sorry, bet. About seeing a midget. She said I couldn't say the above line to someone shorter than 5'4" when I see a munchkin.

(Disclaimer, I do not think that dwarfism is something to joke about. There's a kid in my old grade who was pretty short...story for another day. This has been a message from the great and powerful Sean. Please continue reading the story from my journal, stalkers.)

(Should I even ask _how _you got a hold of this? Please tell me that Jazz didn't publish this when Transformers become world knowledge. If he did, do not blame it on anyone else, this was your fault Jazz)

(If you are here, then I hope this is after Russia decides to rule the world with China, or after the sun blows up. Preferably the later because I really hope i'm not living at the moment because Russian is HARD! Trust me, I tried. Chinese was sooooooooo easy!)

(For me anyways)

{The publisher would like to state that the above notes were written on the side of the paper with little arrows connecting them into the story. Bye y'all! Tha Jazz-man's gunna get some music together.}

_"Oh great. A freaking munchkin. Little people are mean. Tell him he's tall." _I laughed at that. Wheelie has made my day. Once again. Like he should be talking. Did he learn that from personal experience.

Simmons tried to speak some sort of language. "_The Dagger's... Tip? Right? Egypt, Jordan. We want to go there. Me and my family. This is my son, my other son, my daughter. We're tourists. From New York." _

Wow, he just left us all out. I feel so loved.

"New York?" The mini-person asked.

"_Yes yes_. " Simmons confirmed this. Somewhat rushed, if I do say so myself. Jazz pulled on my sleeve from where he was, now in the back seat. He pointed to a hidden compartment under the seat and then started to go in. I looked out the window for some odd reason before following him.

Mini-person, because I can't really call him mini-me, he looks nothing like me, nodded and told Simmons about fifty kilometers. By then, I had closed the seat over us as Sunny-boy shifted a few things around to make it more roomy. Then I realized my mistake and I had forgot the walkie talkie. Now we couldn't be stalkers. Awww….

Jazz shifted around in the blackness and pulled out his phone, checking a few things using the light. He pressed an app. "Monopoly?" He asked, holding out his phone with the app's title screen.

"Eh, why not. Not like we can listen into their conversation like stalkers. And your name is Jazz right?" I asked him.

"Yeah?"

"Can you mix music?"

"Only if ya have tha files." Jazz had adapted the same grin I have and I pulled out my phone and showed him the two songs.

"Then can you make an awesome mix of these two songs?" I asked with a grin as Jazz nodded and started to type relentlessly. I took this time to steal his IPhone and play monopoly against a computer. Sunstreaker sometimes added a few things when Jazz asked what some of the lyrics would be.

I almost threw the phone after my third round. Of losing. See, I am horrible at anything that doesn't have cards or Yahtzee. That is why I hate board games. And what makes my ego deflate more is that Jazz seemed to be horrible at this too and hacked the game to get _super duper _easy. And I lost.

_Every. Damn. Time._

I swear Sunny's laughing at me! And any other weird, totally not of this world/universe being.

I'm talking to you God!

"Hey See," Jazz said beside me, pointing at his phone. I turned to him, "If ya buy every square ya land on and make sure that you have the pinks and oranges, then ya win."

I looked at him as if he grew another head. Jazz smiled once more before I opened my mouth, "Seriously? It's that easy?" Jazz nodded and I finally threw the phone. Only at my black friend's head. It smacked him pretty good.

"OW! What the slag was 'hat for?" Jazz rubbed his sore spot.

I glowered at him, "For not telling me the easiest way to win." I scooted away from him as best i could as we were both laying down. Jazz seemed to smirk before going back to my phone. This was going to be a long drive.

"Being by girlfriend is hazardous to your health." Sam told Mikaela as they snuggled. I made a gagging sound as I taught Jazz all I knew about card games. Showing him little cheats he could do anywhere.

"Being near him is hazardous to my health." Jazz muttered, thinking that he died by Sam. Not that he holds it against him. He was just near him (a few hundred yards) when Megsy ripped him in half. I nodded and flipped my cards. Jazz whined.

Mikaela smiled, "Yeah, well, girls like dangerous boys."

"Bailey likes me and I hardly do anything." I grumbled. Oh, they are acting so lovey dovey, Duckie's not even in hearing range, scouting around because YOLO. And that the flirting was sickening. Oh how I wished I would've gone with him.

"Do they?" Sam smiled. I know where this is going. They are going to play Hide the helmet, butter the biscuits, bury the sword, the dirty tango, A round of bedroom golf, make whoopee, horizontal hula. You get the idea, and no less in the middle of the freaking Egyptian random-house-of-abandonment. What fool does th- wait, I'm still talking about Sam right?

Mikaela hummed, kissed him and chuckled. "You might as well just say that."

I looked at the pyramids and saw three stars above the pyramids. What? I read up to page fifty in the textbook because I was bored. A month ago, and I knew that Sam didn't read the textbook because he was freaking out, spazzing like a girl.

"Pyramids..." I murmured before jumping up. I ran to Sam and grabbed his collar, "COCKBLOCK!" I yelled, ignoring his whining, and spun him so he was in front of me, facing the pyramids. "Does that looks like anything to you?" I asked, my hands on his shoulders.

"Um... No?" Sam rolled his eyes, not even looking at the view.

"Three stars. Three pyramids. Pyramids are tombs for kings. Ring a bell?" I ushered shaking him to get his mind off of screwing Mikaela. Sam groaned before also murmuring.

Sam finally got it, "The three kings will reveal the doorway. Sean, you're a genius!" He shook me.

"Yeah, I know. Genius wrapped up all in this flesh and bone. Right now it's night, and I don't know about you, but the first half said something about Dawn." Benounced to him, I was really happy that someone called me smart. Half the time they just say 'wow, getting smarter Sean? Good luck' I swear them out in my head. It's a Canadian thing. Passive aggressive, but can make a sailor blush when we want to.

"Leo! Simmons! Wake up!" Sam told the two grown men sleeping on each other like love birds. They jumped and moved away from each other in embarrassment. I now have a new OTP. Kidding…. maybe.

Sam started to explain my little hint. "Sean had a really great breakthrough! Okay, so you see those three stars? You see how the last one touches the horizon? Thats Orion' belt, but its also called the three kings, And the reason for that is the three Egyptian kings who built the Pyramids of Giza built them to mirror those stars, so it's like an arrow staring us straight in the face." So you did read some of the textbook. And nice analogy. You go up six points in my book, but that still leaves you at negative 127, the negative hundred points for not telling me that you hang with robots.

Simmons, being the smart guy he is, decided to add something, "They all point due east, towards Jordan. The Mountains of Petra. Good job Sean."

"What? I explained it! Dont I get a thank you too?" Oh Sam, you had to complain.

"He did make me lose my job."

"SAM MADE YOU LOSE YOUR JOB?"

"Oh boy…"

"Well, 'e did try ta kill us."

"Oh. Good job then. I'm proud of you brother "

I was the Big Bad Wolf of the three little pigs at the moment. Pretty sure i was Huffing and Puffing enough to blow that brick house down. Catching you up. Simmons- wait, I honestly don't know who's brilliant idea it was to walk in the desert, with no water at all- decided to go and find something.

"Got to be around here somewhere around here. I-" Shut. Up. Please. You're making my headache worst. God damnit I have heat stroke.

Then I ran into Simmon's back, as the asshole had stopped. "You see the size of this? You see this huh? Now stop calling me an asshole Sean!"

I was speaking out loud?

"You are still doing it."

I looked over Simmons shoulder and saw an Egyptian temple of some sort with a really big doorway. It was pretty cool. Not my thing though.

"Spec-Tacular." And there goes the jolly green giant. I swear theres the regular 'You just found something important, lets play 'Ahhhs' really softly' that pretty much every movie has. Only this isnt a movie, it's real life suckers!

Well, technically its a book because someone probably published this by stealing it somehow.

And why the whole journal/book/thing is so detailed is because i have Photo Memory. Thingy. Mimigy. You get the idea. It just doesn't like to show up for tests...

"Its pretty cool." Jazz agreed.

"_Eh… I've seen better." _Sunstreaker shrugged his shoulders. He most likely did.

"Its here somewhere, guys." Sam told us as we looked at everything inside the castle.

"Yeah, why? 'Cause we trusting some grandpa blackbird who doesn't even know what planet he's on." Leo complained. Once again. For the millionth time.

"Sunny, can we shoot him?" I asked sweetly at the bright yellow and blue mech.

"_Glady. *CRicckle* Anything for you sweet cheeks." _Though Sunstreaker said this, he made no move to do so as Bumblebug shot him a glare and twittered a few things. Sunstreaker rolled his eyes- er… I think they call them Op-ics?

"In his defense, this is the biggest doorway I've ever seen in my life." Simmons told him, staring outside.

Leo spun around, pretending to look everywhere. "Let me do a quick search. Uh… Nope. Ever crossed your mind that archaeologists have been here before? Theres nothing here."

"Real life is heartbreak, despair kid. Sometimes you get to the end of the rainbow and the leprechauns went and booby-trapped it."

Jazz gave Simmons a weird look that pretty much said, 'what the hell man?'

"Why am i listening to you? You live with your mother!"

Jazz gave Leo a look that said, 'You probably did before too.' I frantically did the cut throat sign to Jazz, saying he should stay out of this.

"Its not over."

'Its over. It's done."

Mudflap seemed to have enough of this, " Why are we listening to you, little punk-ass? I mean, what have you ever done for us expect ding my rim?" Sunstreaker seemed to know where this would be going and gently scooped me away from them and onto his shoulder before picking up Jazz by his The Walking Dead tee-shirt like he was picking up a dirty rag.

Aww… He does care!

"Killed Megatron, How 'bout that?" Skids complained, throwing a metaphorical punch at his brother.

"Well, he didn't get the job done, you know what i mean, 'cause he's back now, and he's-"

"Are you scared?" Skids jibbed.

"Scared? Scared of your ugly face!" Mudflaps launched himself at Skids. Sunstreaker moved his hand slightly towards his body and curled his hand around Jazz too.

"HEY!" Sam started to yell at the fighting Bots and humans while I just sat back and enjoyed the show.

"I'm Ugly? Well, we're twins, you stupid genius!" Skids shouted back, attacking again. Sunstreaker's shoulder deflated, obviously hating them as much as i do. Seriously, I'm the handsome one out of me and Sam. And Sunstreaker's the pretty one out of his twin-ship. Mainly because I did his paint job!

Its offical. Sunstreaker is a bad influence. I'm calling the shots on everyone. If i've never meet them… Then my life would be boring.

The ugly twins (Mudflap and Skids) continued fighting until they almost hit Sam when Mudflap slammed Skids into the wall behind where Sam was sitting on, making my idiot brother move out of the way of three tons of metal.

Bumblebee grabbed each of the twins, ignored their complaining, slammed their heads together and tossed them right outside.

"Oh my god." Sam said something and I saw a hole in the wall. "The symbols… BEE! Shoot it!" Bumblebee charged up his channon and shot the wall.

"NOO! Pretty painting!" I cried out as the wall was shot. The dust settled and a huge thing of weird metal and symbols was there.

"Check this out. Look at it." Sam ushered.

"It was an ugly painting anyways." I murmured as Sunstreaker let both me and Jazz down. Jazz was pretty much complaining the whole time he was in Sunstreaker's hand because he couldn't see anything.

"Wow!"

"These were the bodies Jetfire was talking about." Sam explained.

"You remembered his name?" Jazz asked the same time as I lifted my foot to go into the the tomb. I stopped and put my foot down. Ain't no way I was walking on dead bodies of _muther-f-ing GODS!_

"The tomb of the Primes." Simmons told us all something we all knew it was.

"Yeah, um.. Person with heat stroke here. Can we hurry it up? I want to get some air conditioning in the bright yellow Lamborghini and make you all jealous." I told them, Making Jazz turned around and stick his tongue out. Is that a blue light in one of the eyes of the Primes?

Leo decides to have fun with the echo of the DEAD BODIES as i waited outside, trying to remember some of the weird symbols in my mind. I think it's their language.

"The Matrix!" A horror-filled sound from Sam made me perk to attention. Obviously, the tomb was booby trapped.

"Thousands of years turned to dust." Simmons said dejectedly.

Sam cried,"This isn't how it's supposed to end!" Well, we had a run. Time to go.

"Hear that? Us Air Force! C-17's!"

"Whats a C-17?" Leo asked,

"A big freaking plane." I yelled into there for Leo. He yelled back a sarcastic thank you.

"Look! Look," Sam's voice filtered in after a pause, "Look around you. We didn't just go through everything we went through for no reason at all, and to just have it end like this. Theres a reason that we are here. The voices and symbols in Sean's head led us here for a reason. Everyone's after him because of what he knows, and since I'm the smart one, I know that this is going to work." Wow. Not even six hours ago, you told me i was a genius. Now you degraded me again.

Where the hell's my coffee?

Mikaela asked, "How do you know it's going to work?"

"Because i believe it." I sense a Disney Movie coming on…

They made their way outside, Sunstreaker transforming, me hopping in and cranking up the AC.

"Dropping the Big Boy. Sam! You think you can bring him back with that Pixie dust?" See? Even Simmons going onto the whole Disney Theme.

"Absolutely. Lets go." And off our merry band of weirdos went.

* * *

Posted: November 13/14. Three days after my birthday, so HERES YOUR GOODIE BASKET!


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